$BAWKERBawker, Texas Ranger
A scrappy rooster Texas Ranger must ruffle feathers and crack skulls to bust a fox cartel flooding his barnyard with poisoned feed before the whole coop goes under.
A scrappy rooster Texas Ranger must ruffle feathers and crack skulls to bust a fox cartel flooding his barnyard with poisoned feed before the whole coop goes under.
Synopsis
In the dusty town of Cluckwater, Texas, Bawker—a pint-sized Rhode Island Red with a badge and a bad attitude—patrols the coops by day and breaks up cockfights by night. When a slick fox kingpin named Reynard starts pushing tainted grain that turns hens into mindless zombies, Bawker’s quiet life of spurs and sermons explodes into an all-out range war. Teaming with a sarcastic ex-rodeo hen and a dim-bulb turkey deputy, Bawker infiltrates Reynard’s silo fortress, dodging combine harvesters and sniper owls. Every chase ends in feathers and one-liners as the ranger learns that protecting the innocent means facing his own fear of being just another bird in a world that fries them. The final showdown erupts at the county fair, where Bawker must outwit Reynard’s combine army and save the town’s eggs—literally and figuratively—proving that courage comes in small, loud packages.
The story
Bawker is introduced busting a cockfight in a barn saloon; the tainted-feed scheme is revealed when local hens start attacking their own chicks.
Bawker’s team is framed, chased through cornfields and silos, and forced to confront Reynard’s growing zombie army while Bawker wrestles with doubt about his own small size and loud mouth.
At the fair, Bawker rallies the flock, topples the combine, and unmasks Reynard in a fiery barn explosion, restoring order and earning the respect of every hen and rooster in Texas.
The cast
A loud, undersized rooster with a Texas Ranger badge and zero tolerance for injustice, driven by a need to prove tiny wings can still deliver justice.
dream cast: Chris Pratt
A sharp-tongued former rodeo star hen who joins the fight and teaches Bawker that brains beat brawn every time.
dream cast: Awkwafina
A suave, silver-furred fox crime lord who sees the barnyard as his personal buffet and will stop at nothing to own every grain silo.
dream cast: Benedict Cumberbatch
A dim-witted but loyal turkey deputy whose accidental heroics save the day more than once.
dream cast: Jack Black
A grizzled, one-eyed veteran ranger who passes the badge to Bawker and reminds him that the law doesn’t care about your plumage.
dream cast: Morgan Freeman
Dream crew
in the style of Taika Waititi — irreverent tone, heartfelt gags
in the style of Rhett Reese & Paul Wernick — snappy action banter
in the style of Ludwig Göransson — epic Western riffs with banjo chaos
Cold open
INT. BARN SALOON - NIGHT A lantern-lit cockfighting ring packed with rowdy birds. BAWKER, a tiny red rooster in a white Stetson and silver badge, kicks open the doors. BAWKER Alright, y’all. Fun’s over. Drop the spurs. A massive rooster charges. Bawker sidesteps, grabs a hanging lantern, swings, and knocks the bird into a stack of feed sacks. Feathers explode. The crowd freezes. BAWKER (CONT'D) Next fool that moves gets fried. We clear? He tips his hat. The saloon doors swing shut behind him as sirens wail in the distance. (168 words)
Why now
In an era of oversized blockbusters and shrinking attention spans, Bawker delivers a pint-sized hero who punches way above his weight, speaking directly to audiences craving underdog stories, sharp satire on power structures, and pure crowd-pleasing spectacle that plays across generations.
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